Two Ideas for Working Towards Fewer, Better Things

Shop like Your Grandparents, Fetishize What You Already Have + more

Welcome to my second Substack newsletter! Thank you to all of you read my first one and I truly appreciate those who subscribed. I know that for some, it is a leap of faith to ask you to start paying for something you’ve received gratis for so long, but I am hoping that this will be worth the $5 a month. For the price of a nice cappuccino, I will try damn hard to amuse, perhaps inspire and engage you. 

Enough of the “please subscribe” plug, let’s dive in to my second newsletter. 

Because I was an editor for so long, I’m officially hard-wired to crave new inspiration, to seek out alternative ways of viewing things or unlikely concepts and combinations that make me giddy. That Fall 2023 The Row red coat with matching gloves (fyi that coat rings in at just under 10K)! Those Prada 3D origami-like floral pumps! Those sheer polka dot layers and peekaboo pantyhose waistlines at Miu Miu! Editors get addicted to the buzz, that shock of the new. I look at some of what shows up on runways, gets hyper-styled by brilliant stylists etc. and think oooohhhh, I want, I want, I want. And sometimes, I get what I want. ( I would absolutely love and cherish that The Row red coat, anyone feeling generous?) Is it possible that because I am so attuned and trained to seek this out, I am more susceptible? Perhaps. But I doubt I’m alone. Slowly, I am learning to appreciate newness, without desiring it.

As Fall starts and the desire for a wardrobe refresh, of which I feel the desire to do as well, picks up, I have been thinking of a couple of approaches I am trying to personally use to help me keep my purchases not only edited down, but also to choose what I want wisely both in terms of the happiness factor they bring and the style impact they have. So, two ideas….

My mom still has that Valentino purse (and look at my Papagallo! and my cute sister)

Shop Like Your Grandparents (or parents if you are older like me). You most likely have a memory, or several, of standout clothing and accessories that were identity markers of people close to you. For me, one was my grandfather’s cashmere plaid overcoat which he wore for decades that I absconded and wore in the 80s in high school—lapels laden vintage rhinestone pins. I have memories of going with my mother to the Yves Saint Laurent boutique in Watergate in the 70s (seriously), where she would carefully choose—after thinking it over for days or weeks, a pleated skirt or striped sleeveless sweater in hues of pink, orange and green (I still have it). Or visiting NYC where she purchased a khaki button-down Gucci skirt with leather Gs on the patch pockets (she still has it, but it’s too far gone to wear anymore). Shopping was an event. My mom didn’t wear these items for a season and shelve them. They were beloved pieces in constant rotation, clothes that were cared for and appreciated. Handbags and cashmere sweaters were used for years, not months, because they were serious investments and also were intrinsic to how my mom and others presented themselves. I don’t think Jane Birkin had a wardrobe of her eponymous Hermès bags, she used one until it wore out. It isn’t even about quality over quantity here, it’s about singling out signature pieces and sticking with them, year in and year out.

This got me thinking: How much do I appreciate the clothes I wear? If I could only buy 3 things for a season, would that must-have piece I so desperately desire today qualify? What if there was no resale option and I had to keep everything I bought? Would I still buy it then? I think people were much more prepared and thoughtful when they went shopping; it might benefit us all to try to recapture that mentality a bit. Which leads to me impulse buys. 

What if you replace IB’S (impulse buys) with IE’S (impulse events)?

Shopping can be therapeutic. Recently, when my stepfather was readmitted to the hospital after heart surgery, my mother, sister and I were in a state of shock. We left the hospital during quiet hours and went to a boutique, where we each bought a pretty blouse. It was a momentary and much-needed reprieve. We had something to look forward to—a time when we could get dressed, feel good and celebrate once the trauma was behind us. 

Those atypical experiences aside, I’ve always had a propensity to impulse shop. Usually, common sense takes over and whatever came home with me, goes back to the store. I’m trying to limit these events and have decided that maybe I just need to re-channel the nature of my impulse. Instead of a new skirt, I’m replacing that shopping high with another, say an unexpected trip to MoMA, or a last minute gimlet at a favorite bar with a friend, or coffee at a good people watching spot (or a Negroni Bianco outside at Bar Pisselino which is a happy marriage of both). More and more, I find that thing I’m obsessing over, is not even a memory a week later. 

My The Row Margaux

And finally Fetishize What You Already Have. One could argue that every fashion shoot is either just a way to make the mundane appear exotic (the best stylists get stuck with the crappiest clothes for a reason), or emphasize desirable items to the point of mania. What happens if you do the same with what you already own? This is another form on that IG motto that gets reposted all the time, but is an altruism on some level, “Remember When You Wanted What You Already Have?”. Put that gorgeous handbag you bought two years ago, somewhere where you can see it. For me, it’s my The Row Margaux bag I bought last year (above). Every time I’m tempted by another bag, I pull it out; it is really an every-season-but-summer bag so it’s been in the closet, but it’s about to go back into heavy rotation. There is an IG image of one in the crook of someone’s arm and it looks a bit worn (below). That is my goal; to use it so much that it looks loved. Humans tend to give things that look loved a greater inherent value, kind of akin to your childhood teddy bear. I think this applies to what you wear as well. The best hand-me-downs are the ones that are worn from love. 

beat up Margaux goals

Going forward I am going to apply an old-school mentality to my shopping adventures. To be more thoughtful and deliberate about what I buy, and wait for those things that truly speak to me—items I want to exemplify my taste and become intrinsic to me. It makes it much easier to ignore that new bag so-and-so is carrying that I think I need, because I already have the one that has my name all over it in the first place. 

Extra bit:

Last week, I read a horoscope which correlated Virgo’s hyper-organized, meticulous nature and why their month, September, emphasizes those aspects of our lives…..the whole getting back to school, cleaning out your closet (more on that later), and really creating a fresh mindset for what’s ahead. Maybe it’s the reason I bought this Poketo Concept Planner that was mentioned by CO designer Stephanie Dana in AirMail the other week. I had given up on writing in agendas, but I miss it. In fact, I still have my old Hermès Globetrotter Agendas (a fashion editor requisite back in the day) which has my shopping wish lists from 10 years ago scribbled down. I like the Poketo because you create your own calendar in it, I can start now with September and do not need to order a new one for January. With this newsletter, I need to be bit more on it, so we’ll see if I can get back into a rhythm. Ok….that’s all for now. Thanks for reading and if you haven’t already, please subscribe!

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