My daughter sent me a very thoughtful newsletter from Maybe Baby, by Haley Nahman, a younger writer/editor that isn’t on my radar, but obviously has quite the following in her space. It is a very train-of-thought post about falling for trends that you realize you ultimately don’t like—sometimes years later, whether people who pursue “fashion” and “style” and wear different clothes in an almost multi-personality kind of way actually have style since they are all over the place, and how mass consumption leads to sameness (that paired with IG and Pinterest). She also slightly derided the idea of doing a serious closet purge, because ultimately you are getting rid of things you bought because you loved them at one point, hence they should be kept and worn.
She’s not wrong, she is also at minimum 20 years younger than me, which means she doesn’t have that extra 20 years of accumulation sitting around her home. (And 20 + years of different life stages—working in fashion at an office and wearing heels every day, motherhood and stay-at-home mom, now empty nester and self employed.) Even those moments where I might not totally agree, I found my head nodding “yes” for the majority. I started thinking about how I present ideas on style and getting dressed here, and the constant struggle between loving style and design and trying to keep to fewer, better things.
I know I’ve harped on about how the most stylish people in the world—both men and women, are methodical and deliberate about what they wear and equally ruthless about what they avoid. Jackie O., CBK, Gianni Agnelli, Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Zoe Kravitz, Catherine Deneuve. Not one of them is a boring dresser, that said, they all exhibit fairly classic taste. But who wouldn’t be in heaven if one of those people gifted you something from their closet? The Givenchy pieces of Audrey’s or the hand-tailored suits of Agnelli, the evening outfits of CBK.
All of them LOVE(d) clothes and getting dressed. All of them were/are relentless in the pursuit of the right pieces. Most of us do not have an Agnelli bank account to go along with our desire for beautiful objects (or a BFF like YSL), but if you say “no” often enough, probably more often than you are comfortable with, you could have a few choice pieces that you can wear until threadbare. Because that is also a sign of elegance. Everything new and shiny is a bit gauche, sometimes overtly so. That is why certain images resonate and get picked up around social media, like the Resee image below—the oversize Hermès bag is classic, but it also looks loved. Its beauty and craftsmanship has been respected and cared for, it was not bought solely as a status symbol and then discarded once the original luster wore off. (It baffles me how large the secondary market for almost-new Hermès bags is.)
It’s a tricky balance to find that mix of old and new, but when your wardrobe has a few of those items—pieces that you are steadfast about wearing (and repairing), it becomes more personal. Perhaps it’s time to revisit items in your closet that you still love but at one point grew tired of. Dust them off; wear them for a day. See how you feel after. Or whittle your latest wishlist down to the couple of items you have wanted for ages and make a plan to ignore the extraneous and work towards bringing them into your life. It’s hard because we are constantly bombarded with newness, and convenience has somewhat deadened the thrill of discovery. I am trying to do the same and have to remind myself again and again to basically “look away”. Have I gotten sidetracked? Absolutely. I guess one plus is prices are so high now that it actually makes saying “no” a bit easier; it’s too costly to buy and keep mistakes.
I am at a point in my life where there are fewer “holes” in my closet that I need to fill, so it’s about buying some refresh pieces and updates, but also concentrating on the seriously yummy stuff. And being deliberate about how I can eventually bring those pieces into my life.
x Jennifer
Sometimes I don't know a piece will be a winner, until I've had it awhile. Conversely, I have bought what I think will be a winner and find out later, I was wrong.
It’s like decorating a home. It’s that delicious balance of old patina with new edge. New cashmere with worn jeans. Spanking new trainers with vintage bag. Always the balance. Lovely piece, thank for calling it out!